Vampires, the monsters with a billion rules

Man did they get the shaft.

I’ll admit that they do get some benefits like living forever and um, I guess that is it. But they have more rules then a sick kid with an overprotected hypochondriac mom. No sunlight, can’t eat food, no cross, no garlic, no holy water, can’t enter houses unless asked, can only eat blood, can turn into a bat (why?) no silver, no stake through the heart (this one goes for me too), no reflections, can’t cross a line of salt, can’t cross a line of roses, can’t cross running water. What the hell. Why would you be afraid of these guys?

When people take monsters like say the cookie monster is left to roam the earth. Since he is not bound by any rules, he can just come up to you and start stabbing you. What would it take to kill him? I guess you could just remove him from his host hand (he is a hand puppet) and that would do it. Well that isn’t scary either.


My wife must have been tired last night; she stayed up all night and told me that she was the opposite of a reverse vampire. What?