You ever hear of people who have some odd nickname and then you hear the story of how they got it. Here are some real life examples:

Ole’ one ball: We threw 5 balls at Hank. He got struck with a ball in the head. Hence the name ole one ball.

P-whip: Brian can’t get enough of Purple cool whip. Hence the name P-whip

Skid mark: Steve likes two things, the band skid row and Richard Marx, hence the name Skid mark.

Coward: Manard loves Cows. So we fused his name with it. Hence the name Coward.

Asshole: it seems like Roy has a hole in the middle of his ass. Hence the name Asshole. He is also a jerk.

Does anyone remember the song seventeen; it was about a middle age man whose girlfriend was a bit to young. Like young enough to get his ass thrown in jail. Now winger is pushing 50 and still plays this song to many uncomfortable parents and their children.

It was written by kip winger and some other guy from the band Winger. And I believe when it was written the dialog may have went something like this.

SomeOtherGuy: hey, I have an idea for a song. It’s about this guy who is with a 28 year old.

Winger (in a raspy voice): Younger

SomeOtherGuy: younger? Ok how about a 24 year old?

Winger (in a raspy voice): Younger

SomeOtherGuy: uh…eighteen?

Winger: seven

SomeOtherGuy: SEVEN? What the hell is wrong with you?

Winger: Seventeen then

I read the book great expectations with minimal expectations and I wasn’t disappointed.

For the last 2 weeks the bathrooms have been closed due to renovations. Finally they were finished but they didn’t put up any notices saying that they were completed. So I decided to put one up myself.

“The cameras in the bathrooms have been updated. Thank you for your patience.”

It’s still up there3 days later. And nobody is using the bathrooms, so I have them all to myself.

Sometimes when I am sitting at my desk, I pretend that when people are talking about Bluetooth technology, that Bluetooth is some really fat hillbilly with 1 blue tooth. If you can imagine with me, these may be funny to you:

I am trying to get on blue tooth.
My box doesn’t work with blue tooth (said by a women, to make it funny)
I was told that my blue tooth won’t work. (this could be a scenario where blue tooth’s mom is talking about blue tooth is trying to get a job and refuses to do it.)
My car doesn’t even have a place for blue tooth. (blue tooth’s first experience with discrimination)

The next time you are mad and rightly so, and some jerk tells you that you are overreacting. You say, "No, I'm under reacting. I should be punching you." That should quite up the room a bit. Unless you’re a wimp, then they will just laugh.

I tried baked doreitoes today. i got through half the bag and this is what I came up with, and i said it out loud as i was throwing away half the bag:

These new dorieotos must be good for me, because they taste like crap.

since the death of Gary Gygax i would like to pay homage by this post.

So, here is a funny quote about playing D&D from and unknown jerk:

"Say what you will about me, but if I'm going to spend all night pretending to be an elf, I'm certainly not doing it dead sober."

Regarding people who play Mass Multiplayer online games (MMOs)

Why do guys play girls? Do they think they will find a girl who plays a guy and they get together and have sex? That would make the most sense AND that is ridiculously stupid. The real reason is just as sad. Guys play girls online because they are such losers that nobody will have anything to do with them in real life. The guys who do pay attention to them in game are just as sad because these are the only girls they will probably talk to ever and they aren’t even girls.

I heard a Judge say,”You can’t try the devil without going to hell to get witnesses.” What it was in reference to was that they were a trial of a horrible person and they needed to get somewhat less horrible people to testify against him. Sounds cool though, this is a possible entry for my own tombstone. Just so people can walk by and say, “Wow, what the hell did this guy do? Another entry I was considering is, “Dear friend to Hitler” This is true, just not the guy you are thinking of.