The 4th of July is perhaps the most stupid idea for a holiday. does anyone really know what we are celebrating? Don't get me wrong I really like your country. you humans (minus brains) are all right in my book. I just find it hard to believe that we are still entertained by flashes of light in the sky that aren't aliens (think land of the dead and you'll really feel silly)? Fireworks are dangerous. Anything that you lite and then explodes or just gets real hot shouldn't be given to children to run around and really hurt themselves. Do you think Francis Scott Key was writing about sparklers? Why not celebrate the holiday but doing a mock signing of the declaration of independence, where you are all wearing white wigs and blouses.
for the pete of sake, be careful.

Today Someone referred our intern as a "reverse Doogie Howser"


Ok, it was me.

How to look like you know what your doing

1 uncross your eyes.
2 do not announce that you don’t know what you are doing
3 if at any point you pulled your pants down, pull them back up, blame a leprechaun and continue
4 site a reputable source, like a doctor. Do not use anyone that is not reputable , like a politician
5 do not read this paper out loud during your speech.
6 at the end of the speech, don’t say “or whatever.”
7 use fancy words like “no idea” and “whatyacallit”