I have some time off of work coming up so i am not posting till after labor day, which brings me to my next post...

LABOR DAY, the day we should all not work.

what the hell? sounds like you would work your ass off this day and instead you end up eating a grilled hot dog. so i went to the government site http://www.dol.gov/opa/aboutdol/laborday.htm
to find out why i don't have to work on this day, lots of words and no pictures. i'm not reading all that. let me sum it up, even though i didn't read it. labor day is when the greek god of labor (George Washington) and the Asian god of war (uncle Sam) got drunk and signed a treaty with the Canadians. since then they legally changed the name of back bacon into h.a.m. (heart attack, mild). so everyone and a while, you don't have to work, but someone has to pay for it. Do they have this in Japan? nope on labor day just like every other day they work their asses off. Why? because they need to pay for all the funerals that Godzilla causes. That isn't cheep.

so have a good labor day

I think i will start typing and something funny will come to me. my shirt felt strange today, after complaining about it to some friends they said it was inside out. When i went to change i dropped it in the toliet. Some more good news, i'm stuck at work, i cant just leave. so, wet and embarassed i went back to my desk and think to myself that since this happened my day is pretty much peaked. It's all down hill from here.

For a salaried employee like myself, i notice my boss has never said, "we need you to leave early today."

its been raining for days now, so we should have some really stinky hobos.

There is a warehouse attached to one of the buildings I work in. I need to wear safety shoes in there to protect my toes. I lied of course so I didn’t have to wear these big yellow coverings on my feet that make a big clacking noise. Well eventually someone figured out that I my shoes didn’t have the steel toes so now I have to wear them. And that gave birth to this rant.
Out of everything attached to my body, the toes are most likely the first thing I would loose, so why even bother with those shoes. If I was crushed in a car accident and they gave my wife a small bag with some of my organs in it and 10 perfect toes, she wouldn’t say thank god, at least we can have an open casket. They should make me wear a cup, at least I would feel I’m protecting something that I may use in the near future.

BE A GO GETTER!

Kicking ass and taking names!!!

That is a bit dated. Lets redo it.

Instead of kicking, try licking. Kicking is so cruel. Licking, that sounds personal.

Taking names? What for you work for the government? To take sounds aggressive, lets passive that up. Giving names!

NAMES? Nah, lets go with something more organic, how about freedom love child. No that is just stupid. Nabisco? A bit commercial. Hmmm, how about diseases? That seems to have a nice ring to it, I wonder what it means.

OK so lets hear it! BE A GO GETTER!

Licking ass and Giving diseases!

Perfect.

What time do you think it is in France right now? Look at your watch dumbass that should tell you.

I read a article in nonexistent magazine that stated that earth has a lot in common with some of our other friendly planets in the sky. Well f them. If the other planets want a fight they got one. Were the only one with nude beaches, apple fritters, fat Elvis and cancer. What they got? Carbon based life forms? Nope. Crabs? Probably! Tacos? Nope. Rapist? Most then likely!

I think I will stay where I am at thank you.

what do these 3 guys have in common? pork chops baby!

The Answer:
I sprayed mace in his eyes because he made me feel uncomfortable.


The Question:
I told my coworker that I felt naked today because I forgot my blackberry at home. He told me that he feels naked when he isn’t wearing clothing. He laughed, then he screamed. The question is, why did he scream?