Why do people drive with there High beams while driving out in the county?

How else are people going to know you’re a jerk out in the dark in the middle of nowhere?

When i get writers block or can't be stupid for a couple of minutes, i like to hash up old stuff

2 year old post...


Do you think that the term ho down means the same as in Texas as it does in New York?

I’m thinking of selling real bears that have clever, non-loving slogans on them. I’m thinking of an anti-Valentine gifts.

“When your not around, your barley missed.”
“You bared your sole to me, and although I appreciate it, I’m calling the cops”
“I wish a bear would come and kill you”
“I’m Barely Tolerating you”

IF you ever listen to a glam rock song and think to yourself, is this song about a whore? The answer is always a yes.

I read an article about finding lost Amazon tribe was a hoax. At first I thought to myself, in your face people who want other people found. Both things put a smile on my face that somebody tricked a bunch of people and then later getting caught. Good for him for lying, good for the rest for figuring it out.

So the people weren’t lost, but if they were what is the REAL benefit to finding a lost tribe? I looked it up. What happens is that you find the lost tribe, put it in the unclaimed lost tribe box at your local supermarket. If nobody claims the tribe in 30 days, you can take them home with you, if they have not died of starvation from living in a box for 30 days.

My thoughts on George Carlin passing away: first thing that comes to mind: Funny, made you think sometimes, likes to make waves. Ornery, crabby, hated stupid people and he seen them everywhere. He kicked ass and made me think while I was growing up. Next to Vonnegut and Doug Adams passing on, I'm running out of childhood heroes. I know that he was old but he is gone and tom Arnold still lives? This is bullshit.

Here is a picture of me holding my zune right before i was hit by a helecoptor riding an airplane.


Memories

I have been drinking pepsi for the last 3 months or so trying to win a zune from pepsistuff.com. well, i won! and i also have diabeties, it may have been worth it. Hurray for me!

Last years post, still funny



I am a visual person. I need to see things or I may run into them.

Ask yourself this, what is your favorite root beer? I guessed A&W and even choose it in this blind taste test. After the review of the scores, I did choose A&W overall, even though it came in 3rd.

Let’s say you go on a date and French style kiss some girl. earlier that day she French styled kissed a different guy. Did you just kiss a dude?

1. Yes you did
2. No you didn't but you now want to
3. Yes, the girl you kissed use to be a dude

if you answered that question with anything besides what was displayed, you are incorrect.

Ok listen up everyone. on April 30th 2008 I am going to eat a lightning bolt. And if this date is the past, that means that I have already tried and failed it. And now I can only eat cream corn with a spoon. but I can eat all other food normally and can also eat cream corn with other utensils.

We did a taste test and i guess fanta and Faygo is up on top. go figure

For serious though.


If a Teen gets pregnant at the start of the school year, (12th grade, calm down hillbillies) and the kid is born grows up. He or she get to 11th grade and should say, yes I would like 1 diploma please. The school would go, no sorry you have to go through 12th grade before you get the diploma? He/she could say “yes, I had already. I would like my diploma.”

Or

The kid could go through the motions but out lash in class.

Teacher, “ok kids, please take out your text books and open it to page 34.”

Kid, “BEEN THERE DONE THAT”

My company called work in progress origami has folded. I was just crumpling up paper and selling them as origami rocks.


This was 3000 dollars.

I'm back, and now more normaller then ever. did you ever notice how great dreams are? i mean you fall asleep and bammo, you are in the middle of some great thing happening and you get to wake up and live in a craphole world. that is why i envy people in comas and always will.

It was my anniversary this weekend (Happy anniversary baby! Thanks for a great 6 years!) I told a buddy of mine and he said, “you know what they say, after 7 years your got nothing to worry about” I told him that people who think that are in for a rude awakening. There is always something to worry about.

By the lizzel of the mizzel

Today I got a stern looking at from an entire room when I announced, “I don’t like to generalize, but everyone I have ever seen or talked to are the dumbest people in the world.”

I saw a guy on a bike with a sweater in his mouth today. I couldn’t stop thinking; did someone bet this guy he couldn’t ride around town and eat a sweater at the same time? Most likely.