Man I was drawing a blank today but after an interesting conversation with some jerks, I got this:

If a hotel mattress suddenly sprang to life, what would he have to say?
How about, dear lord please stop putting 2 year olds on me? I am sick of smelling like urine.
For the love of Spiderman, flip me, I’m getting bed sores!!!
My job is like Joan Collins, just having fat guys lie on me. (I have no clue on what that means)
Why can’t you remove my label?
What is the deal with airline food?
Popeye’s is better then KFC. (This is just common knowledge)