What is thanksgiving? A question that people outside of USA have been asking about for thousands of years. Which is silly, because it isn’t that old, but not surprising, as people like to gossip.
Here is the full story as I remember it:

We came to a Plymouth rock dealership, and our first year was very tough, before we started to eat each other, and not in the good way, Indians helped us out. We were so happy that they helped us, we named like 20 sports teams after them and the band Europe wrote a song about them. The song did reasonably well but not as good as other hits on the Final Countdown album.

So every year we eat a turkey, pour 40 ounces of gravy on the curb for our half dressed homies, the Indians.

We also get together with our families and not our Indian amigos. Why? Because they chew with their mouths open.