The more I know, the more I don't want to know...TMI

Although I've never seen the show, i always liked the show JAG! I just thought it was about a guy who parked in handicap parking spots and spit on old people.
According to the imdb, the the plot is "The cases of Harmon Rabb, former Navy fighter pilot, and his fellow JAG lawyers"

I'm thinking a spin off called JAG Babies. think of the possibilities.

How horrifying would it be to sleep with a clown? ask the members of the band Kiss's wives. They would know for sure.

unknown author:
well my memory is not working so well lately so i figure i just say the truth so i don thave to remember shit

apparently i am a self made man, which is why i dress like crap.

we could take off every day for Alzheimer day
think about it

The government did an experiment (top secret mind you) asking would a perpetual motion machine and a motion sensor activated device together be funny? The answer: Your damn right it would.

The Charlie Story
Charlie is genius, right; he's made from a million pieces of old bubble gum, ha, imagine that! In the summer of 1976, on his way home from an Alice Cooper concert, Charlie started to melt onto the pavement; It was too hot in LA, and he melted like a pink bitch, Ha ha ha ha ha! Luckily though, there was Eric Phillips, a local crocodile who dabbled in black magic. He took pity on Charlie and scraped him off the floor with a pair of fish slices. He poured him into an antique soup ladle and boarded his magic carpet, ha ha! Destination Alaska! Eric Phillips decided to refreeze Charlie, but in his cold-blooded reptilian haste, he refroze him into to the shape of a hoover - "I wasn't thinking." Charlie wasn't fazed though, he just zoomed about the place sucking up Inuits "ha ha … oh." The Inuits didn't mind, they loved it in Charlie's pink tight warm belly pouch, and they refused to come out. Charlie said "I'm cool with that," and set fire to a posh hammer to make it official. "I appear to be on fire." The downside was that the Inuits suffocated immediately. It was air-tight in there. Charlie panicked and fired the tiny Inuit bullets into Eric's crocodile peepers. "After all I did for you … oooh." The green shape was frozen. After a quick drink Charlie stole Eric Phillips magic carpet and left for Seattle. Charlie was racked with guilt, he'd killed 50 Inuits, no-one needs that. He decided to spend the rest of his life putting small hairstyles onto boots, monkey nuts, dildos, trumpets and spanners.

I wonder if anyone has ever killed a pacifist in self-defence?

If you haven't gotten to where you're going, your aren't there yet. George Carlin

What is popularity? Well, if you think it is where nobody knows you and you eat alone, then yes, I am very popular.

People say my eyes are my best feature. That is crazy! My eyes are just hooked up to the part of my brain that wants to know what is going on out there. The rest of me could care less. And they have this crazy color. The color hasn’t been invented for my eyes as of yet. Well blue, I guess they are bluish. I wish sometimes they were pointed the other way. So I can see what I’m thinking.

What if the earth was used as an ancient burial ground for dinosaurs by aliens?

word origin

Sometimes interesting words and phrases are right under our noses. After using it countless times on this site, a reader asked me where the term to coin a phrase came from?
The verb to coin originally meant to literally mint a coin. It dates to the 14th century, first appearing in Robert Brunne’s Langtoft’s Chronicle, written about 1330.

By the end of the 16th century, the verb to coin was being used to refer to the creation of a new word or phrase. From the anonymous The Arte of English Poesie (1589; generally attributed to George Puttenham, but authorship is uncertain.
Some believe that usage of to coin in this fashion is actually an error, believing instead that it should be to quoin, a printer’s term meaning to secure a block of type with a quoin, or metal wedge. So to quoin a phrase is to set it into type or make it permanent. But quoin is simply a spelling variant of coin that is primarily used in this specialized printing sense. The general sense meaning to create is invariably spelled coin.

The ironic use of the phrase to coin a phrase to excuse a clichè dates to at least 1940. From F.B. Young’s Mr. Lucton’s Freedom of that year:

It takes all sorts to make a world, to coin a phrase.

Tips on selling blood
Don’t make the same mistake I made and show up with a bag of blood from multiple donors. They will not give you any money. And you don’t get the bag back. So if you do use a bag you are prepared to loose forever. The police will get envolved as well.
If half of the people who worked at the blood bank’s name start with the word "Count", do not let them near you. They, however, will take that bag I mentioned earlier no questions asked.
Also I think it is a good idea not to get an atm card from a blood bank. They didn’t offer it, but if they did I would say no.

Lots of game shows out there, but they are stale and boring. how about combining a couple to make them more interesting:

combine who wants to marry a millionare with are you smater then a 5th grader:

WHO WANTS TO MARRY A 5th grader!

or

wheel of fortune with family fued

Family wheel of fueding fortunes!

or

Jeporady with a bank robbery

Ask questions and steel money from a bank!

or

the news with a porno

news people will watch!

My writers block continues though out this glorious year. Since i can't make things up anymore, here is a true fact about me:

I believe that the world is plotting against me. not in some big fashion like tyring to kill me or tyring to keep me from succeeding. i think there is a world organization that is trying to prevent me from eating bald eagles. weird what the mind allows you to think if you let it.

Well it turned out that my writers block was just laziness. so lets post some internet fodder!

I was feeling nostolgic for my childhood the other day so:

I ate 2 deserts but only after eating food i hate

went to bed at 9

wet my bed

I played vidoe games but had to stop after an hour

someone siad, "cause i said so" and I took their word as gospil. Instead of imedeately doing a mental fact check.

Took a bath instead of a shower, played with toys and didn't use soap

why the hell would i miss being a child?

I found out the hard way today that a bunch or road flares, some grey clay and duck tape is neither pratical nor a joke.

I went to sign up for something and they made me give them my name. After I did they asked me “That name sounds made up.”

“It was, by my parents.”